It was a lovely night.

Thank you so much.

For everything.

=)

M.I.A. For A Long Time

Wow.. This blog is kinda dead. Hmm.. Have been really busy these days, especially now that we Lower Sixers this year have got to stay back on Mondays till Thursdays, thanks to the new government policy for Form 6. So yea, we're the guinea pigs.. -_- We've gotta stay in school till 3.30pm. Learn stuff like managing small projects, how to write proposal, do Research and Development (R&D), etc.

Sya has left to Russia, so good luck Sya. All the best and have fun! =) Hmm.. What else? Oh yea.. We had a farewell dinner for Sya at TGI Fridays in One Utama, that was quite long ago. What to do? It's been so long since I last updated my blog. Ooo.. There was also one day where nearly everyone in our class fasted during the puasa month, if I'm not mistaken it was the Thursday before Raya. Later that night we went for a buka puasa meal at JM Bariani with Puan Hanim, our Pengajian Am (PA) teacher. Pictures are all on facebook, will upload it here when I'm free.

We had a French exchange student, Yann Saunier, who's 19 years old this year, who hails from Lyon, France. The best question anyone had ever asked him when he first came into class?

Chong Sheng: You're french right?

Yann: Yes?

Chong Sheng: So, are you good in french kiss

Haha.. That's typical Chong Sheng. =) What else? I celebrated my eighteenth birthday last Friday. Thank you everyone for all your wishes or calls. =) Haha.. And since I'm already eighteen, do you think I look like an eighteen year old? Let me recall some cases where people thought I was much older.

Case 1:

My sis and I were at this resort/hotel in Johor Bahru, probably about two years ago? My sis would be about 6 years then. We were both having our complimentary buffet breakfast.

*finishes up breakfast*

Manager: Excuse me, miss. May I have your coupons for this complimentary breakfast?

Me: Owh.. Okay. Hold on yea.. *rummages through handbag*

Manager: So you're here today with your kid?

Me: *finds the coupons* Huh? *stunned* Umm.. She's my sister..

Manager: Owh.. I see.. *accepts coupons from me*

Case 2:

Somewhere last year. Was waiting for my sis to finish her swimming lesson. An auntie who stays in the same apartment talks to me. An uncle who is a friend of that auntie is taking care of his granddaughter in the wading pool.

*Uncle watches my sister swim*

Uncle: Your daughter swim wrongly already.

Me: Yea, she's not really paying attention to her swimming instructor. And, umm, she's not my daughter. She's my sister.

Auntie: *tells to Uncle, reaffirming what I said* Sister la..

Uncle: Owh.. I thought she was your daughter.

I think there was also another case where some kid referred to me as "someone's mother" when I went to pick my sis from her art class. Oh well, I guess this shows that I HAVE to take care of my youth. If I'm considered old now, what about the future? =.=

Just recently, I recalled about a particular phrase. It suddenly struck to me how much it meant. It's not created by me, I came across it on the Internet about last year if I'm not mistaken. Let me share it with you.

"Friendship isn't being inseparable. It's being separated and knowing nothing will change."

How many friendships are like that? It's hard to find one like this nowadays. We have our different pathways, we've gone different ways. Hardly keeping in touch. Why? 'Cause we're all so busy. It's not like we want to. Who wants to forsake a friendship of so many memories? We go our different ways, we make new friends. But does that mean we've given up our old friendships? No. See the importance of that phrase? Keywords are: separated, nothing will change. It's just like hitting the pause button and when it resumes, it's just like old times. Just because we hardly keep in touch, it doesn't mean we've changed and become a totally different individual. I miss you. I hope to see you soon. And nothing has changed. At least on this side, me. Friends FOREVER.

Sometimes, I wonder, when you care so much about other people's feelings or when you care so much for them, putting them before you, will there be anyone for you when you need someone? You care so much for others and ask for nothing in return. But when you feel like the world has its back on you, is there anyone out there who'll stand by you? Comfort you? Tell you that everything's gonna be alright? Times when you feel so lost and all you can do is wonder why do things have to turn out this way. There may not be an explanation for it, nor any answers to it. But it's okay. As long as there's someone there for you, things would somehow be much better.

I need a shoulder to lie on.

When things are bad and there's nothing else to do.

.

.

.

.

I need a pair of arms.

To give me a hug.

.

.

.

.

I need a listening ear.

To just hear me out.

.

.

.

.

I need a soothing voice.

To talk to me and assure me.

.

.

.

.

I need someone.

To be there for me and stand by me no matter what.

.

.

.

.

I just need you.

I'm sorry for being so demanding. I just can't do it alone. I can't be optimistic all the time. And I'm just expressing my thoughts. I'm not always like this.

Photo Updates From Taman Sea

School's not that bad. =) The inner funny has been released.. Hehe.. Turns out that they're quite a handful of funny people in class and we've bonded better than before. Alot of laughing practically everyday. Haha..

Lotsa pictures ahead! Photo credits to Syah. =)

Chai Mei a.k.a. Xiao Mei, Tze Chian a.k.a. Chian Chian a.k.a Lau Bu and I Mei Mei, Chian Chian and Gene Edwin's candid shot and Gene's "XD" face Edwin's "Ta kaw arh?" Mei Mei and Lau Bu Raj and Chong Sheng the Master of Camwhore The class' family tree Say Joon is Shiang Leng's son and Tze Chian's husband, by the way Mei Mei and I Ahahaha.. This is the pic where Say Joon looked super short in it Syah and Dana Chian Chian and her "parents", Dana and Chan Hoong Lim pei (Say Joon) and lau bu (Chian Chian) Happy Family Edwin and Mei Mei Planning the family tree Gummy Bear loves her Candid Chian Chian at work? Lim pei Chou Jie Lun memorizing his lyrics before his performance XP Ahahaha.. Look at Chong Sheng and Zu Wen's face

Warning, Emo Post Up Ahead

Homework, homework.. Bleh.. Had a short Bio test in class the other day. I don't have to wait to receive my paper; I know I failed it. Left many questions blank, felt like crap after that. Sigh.. I guess you know how I feel, Carey. Worse than stupid. Seriously, I don't know what's wrong with me. Shouldn't this year be better, since I had a good start and I feel fine? I wasted a whole year in Form 4, going through a really crappy period of time. But I'm not going through any of that in Form 6, so what's holding me back?

Sometimes, I feel like I've already given up hope on myself. Where was the determination that I used to have before? Is it because I fell and I never really stood up again? Maybe I just pretended that I was okay, I pretended to stand. The past is the past. Doesn't the saying "El tiempo lo cura todo", "Time heals all wounds" apply here? Has it really been that big a blow till I've lost my senses? It's as if I'm immune to the pain, I feel it, but it does not hurt me in that particular way anymore. Like I'm heavily drugged to relieve me of the pain and I'm waiting for my life to be taken anytime soon.

*Why am I giving stupid reasons and riduculous excuses? Wake up, girl. Don't wallow in self-pity and stop feeling sorry for your pathetic self. You don't deserve it. The harsh reality of life calls you back, so snap out of your puny world. No one cares about it. Get back to reality, life's unfair, that's just how you gotta go through it.*

I'm sorry I'm a failure. A disappointment to you. But I guess you can't see or understand how I really feel inside. You think I feel no remorse, no guilt, no pain. You're wrong. You don't know how badly I was affected. You just assumed that I was okay, because that's what I showcased on my outer self. I carry my burdens silently, I go through it alone. I keep my mouth shut and keep my raw feelings to myself. You mocked me and you further pressured me continuously. Maybe you didn't mean to do all those things. But I guess that's how you're supposed to do it. It's just your duty I guess. I don't blame you. I'm at wrong after all.

I'm not trying to gain sympathy here. I just need to get this out of my system once in a blue moon. Things that get built up come tumbling down drastically when it can't hold up anymore. It's just like a reservoir, you see. A reservoir can only go so high. Once the water gets accumulated more than the reservoir can hold, the reservoir cracks and breaks. And the water just crashes down.

I'm sorry. I can only try my best, try my hardest. Maybe I need more time but time is just too short. Sadly, time does not wait. Bear with me. While I fight this through, somehow.

I need my pillar of strength.

You, my babyface.

It's Just Not The Same

Random pics and videos taken in SMK Bandar Utama. =)

Ahem.. What's this eh?

"Bluff" session in class

Very serious eh, Sage? XD

Sage and Hockie in a puppet booth that we found in the library

Videos ahead. Filmed out of boredom and lame-ness? Haha..

First attempt at chest bump

Second attempt at chest bump

The Sage and Hockie Show XD

Man.. I miss my gang in BU. =( My transfer was approved last Tuesday, so I'm in SMK Taman Sea now. I made some new friends of course, but it's just not the same. Our gang bonded so well in BU in such a short period of time. Over here in Taman Sea, there isn't anyone like Hockie or Sage to crack lame jokes. Eugene, Kenneth and I are still getting used to the new environment here. Seems like it's gonna take awhile, unlike how we bonded so well with you guys in BU. To cut the long story short, we miss you guys. Although our gang has somehow disintegrated, we'll keep in touch and meet up once in awhile okay? Especially Sage, who's going out of state soon. :S

Hmm.. An update of how Taman Sea is like? Taman Sea is a lot different from BU. We finish quite early everyday; school ends at 1.05pm from Mondays to Thursdays and 12.25pm on Fridays. However, there aren't any tutorial periods and subjects like Pengajian Am (PA) or General Knowledge and Maths are separated into two, namely Paper 1 and Paper 2. We have two different teachers for each paper and all teachers enter the class to teach without fail. Homework HAS to be passed up. Somehow, some teachers can even remember most of the names of those who haven't handed in their homework. =/ Rules are also quite strict. No handphones at all and ankle length socks cannot be worn. I nearly got caught wearing ankle length socks the other day. And punishment for breaking the rule about ankle length socks? You've to pay RM2 for your offence. -.- *edit* My class is 6BS by the way. The first time I heard 6BS, I went, "Huh? 6 Bull Shit??". But it's actually 6 Bawah Seroja. =P *edit*

Things are alot stricter here and it isn't as chilling as BU. Oh well. In a way it's good 'cause the environment will push you to study somehow? I guess the downfall is that we don't get to laugh so often to reduce stress. Hmm.. I guess for that, I'll just find Hockie or Gene to make me laugh or cheer me up. Hopefully things will work out in Taman Sea and I wish all Form 6 students all the best.

It's only the beginning. It's gonna get tough. =/